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The Rabbi

There is a story about a popular young rabbi, who on Sabbath eve announces to the congregation that he will not renew his contract and is moving on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.

Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, “If the rabbi stays, I’ll provide him with a new sedan every year, and his lovely wife with a mini van, to transport their children!”

The congregation sighs, and applauds.

Goldstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands and says, “If the rabbi stays, I’ll double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of his children!!”

More sighs and applause.

Old Mrs. Goldfarb, aged 96, stands and announces, “If the rabbi stays, I offer SEX!!”

There is a hush. The rabbi, blushing, asks, “Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?”

Mrs. Goldfarb answers, “I just asked Mr. Goldfarb what we could contribute to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Goldfarb said, ‘Fuck the rabbi.'”


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The Rabbi