Tick Tock Playgroup
The Old Barn
4 Spence Hill
Oxshott
Surrey
Mrs Rebecca Brandon 1 September 2005
The Pines
43 Elton Road
Oxshott
Surrey
Dear Mrs Brandon
We were delighted to meet you and Minnie yesterday. We are sure she will be very happy at our fun, relaxed playgroup and look forward to seeing you next week.
With kind regards
Teri Ashley
Play Leader
P. S. Please don’t worry about the minor paint-squirting incident. We are used to children and we can always repaint that wall.
Tick Tock Playgroup
The Old Barn
4 Spence Hill
Oxshott
Surrey
Mrs Rebecca Brandon 4 October 2005
The Pines
43 Elton Road
Oxshott
Surrey
Dear Mrs Brandon
Just a few confidential concerns about Minnie. She’s a lovely child with real liveliness.
However, she has to learn that she can’t wear all the dressing-up clothes every day, and the ‘princess’ shoes are not suitable for outdoor play. Perhaps we can discuss this at our upcoming parents and children activity morning.
With kind regards
Teri Ashley
Play Leader
P. S. Please don’t worry about the minor glue-squirting incident. We are used to children and we can always revarnish that table.
Tick Tock Playgroup
The Old Barn
4 Spence Hill
Oxshott
Surrey
Mrs Rebecca Brandon 9 November 2005
The Pines
43 Elton Road
Oxshott
Surrey
Dear Mrs Brandon
Thank you for your letter. I’m glad you’re looking forward to the parents and children activity morning. Unfortunately there will be no dressing-up clothes for adults, nor will there be any facility for ‘swapping outfits with other parents’ as you suggest.
I’m glad to say that Minnie has broadened her activities in playgroup and is spending a lot of time in our new ‘Shop’
corner.
With kind regards
Teri Ashley
Play Leader
P. S. Please don’t worry about the minor ink-squirting incident. We are used to children and Mrs Soper can always re-dye her hair.
ONE
OK. Don’t panic. I’m in charge. I, Rebecca Brandon (née Bloomwood), am the adult. Not my two-year-old daughter.
Only I’m not sure she realizes this.
‘Minnie, darling, give me the pony.’ I try to sound calm and assured, like Nanny Sue off the telly.
‘Poneeee.’ Minnie grips the toy pony more tightly.
‘No pony.’
‘Mine!’ she cries hysterically. ‘Miiiine poneee!’
Aargh. I’m holding about a million shopping bags, my face is sweating, and I could really do without this.
It was all going so well. I’ve been round the whole shopping mall and bought all the last little things on my Christmas list. Minnie and I were heading towards Santa’s Grotto, and I only stopped for a moment to look at a dolls’ house. Whereupon Minnie grabbed a toy pony off the display and refused to put it back. And now I’m in the middle of Pony-gate.
A mother in J Brand skinny jeans with an impeccably dressed daughter walks past, giving me the Mummy Once-over, and I flinch. Since I had Minnie, I’ve learned that the Mummy Once-over is even more savage than the Manhattan Once-over. In the Mummy Once-over, they don’t just assess and price your clothes to the nearest penny in one sweeping glance. Oh no. They also take in your child’s clothes, pram brand, nappy bag, snack choice and whether your child is smiling, snotty or screaming.
Which I know is a lot to take in, in a one-second glance, but believe me, mothers are multi-taskers.
Minnie definitely scores top marks for her outfit. (Dress: one-off Danny Kovitz; coat: Rachel Riley; shoes: Baby Dior.
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