> > There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny! –
> >
> > The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
> > father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
> > Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, ‘Well, I’m off now. The man
> > should be here soon.’
> >
> > Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
> > happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. ‘Good morning, Ma’am’, he
> > said, ‘I’ve come to…’
> >
> > ‘Oh, no need to explain,’ Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, ‘I’ve been
> > expecting you.’
> >
> > ‘Have you really?’ said the photographer. ‘Well, that’s good. Did you
> > know babies are my specialty?’
> >
> > ‘Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
> > seat!.
> >
> > After a moment she asked, blushing, ‘Well, where do we start?’
> >
> > ‘Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
> > couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
> > fun. You can really spread out there.’
> >
> > ‘Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and
> > me!’
> >
> > ‘Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
> > try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m
> > sure you’ll be pleased with the results.’
> >
>
> ‘My, that’s a lot!’, gasped Mrs.. Smith.
> >
> > ‘Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be In
> > and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.’
> >
> > ‘Don’t I know it,’ said Mrs… Smith quietly.
> >
> >
> > The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
> > baby pictures. ‘This was done on the top of a bus,’ he said.
> >
> > ‘Oh, my God!’ Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
> >
> > ‘And these twins turned out exceptionally well – when you consider their
> > mother was so difficult to work with..’
> >
> > ‘She was difficult?’ asked Mrs. Smith.
> >
> > ‘Yes, I’m afraid so.. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job
> > done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good
> > look’
> >
> > ‘Four and five deep?’ said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement..
> >
> > ‘Yes’, the photographer replied. ‘And for more than three hours, too. The
> > mother was constantly squealing and yelling – I could hardly concentrate,
> > and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the
> > squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.’
> >
> > Mrs. Smith leaned forward. ‘Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
> > uh…equipment?’
> >
> > ‘It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and
> > we can get to work right away.’
> >
> > ‘Trip od?’
> >
> > ‘Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too
> > big to be held in the hand very long.’
> >
> >
> >
> > Mrs. Smith fainted
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